Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover

I'm reading How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and I have been pleasantly surprised. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but he tells great stories to make his points and I have been not only entertained but instructed as well. In the book, he gives suggestions on how to make the study of this book most effective. One tip is to read the chapter twice. Initially, I thought that would be cumbersome but I have actually enjoyed it. It's amazing how much I miss the first time through and like I mentioned his stories are impactful and touching--definitely worth a second read.

His first three "fundamental techniques to handling people" are: 1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain, 2. Give honest and sincere appreciation and 3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. It's funny, but I again anticipated reading this with the intent of applying his advice in dealing with people in my commonwealth school and other more professional settings, but I find my mind drifting continually to my children. I have read Part I in it's entirety twice now and my children kept returning to my mind.

Equally as unfortunate is my inability to apply Rule #1! It seems like too frequently I slip back into a mom that thinks she needs to "nip things in the bud" before they develop bad habits when in reality no one likes to be criticized. If someone tells me I did a lousy job at something, my first reaction is NOT, "Oh you're right, I want to do that better next time!" It automatically puts people on the defensive instead of them opening up and deciding to change on their own. I need to make a picture in my house crooked or put a string on my finger as a reminder to keep checking myself because sometimes I respond in negative ways as naturally as if I'm taking a breath.

I think I'm pretty adept at Rule #2 Give honest and sincere appreciation. I've practiced that over the years and I think I do OK although I'm sure there is always room for improvement : ) It's number 3 that I'm still trying to wrap my brain around. "Arouse in them [again my children instantly come to mind] an eager want." Wow, if I could bottle that I think I'd become a millionaire overnight! Can you imagine not having to ask your children to make their beds or do their kitchen jobs because they already WANT to do them? I think that section deserves a third read.