Thoughts on Chores

Today was DAY #1 of implementing our new chore system. It is called HAnnDi Household Work Systems by Diann Jeppson and Annette Jones. Here's the lowdown..

This system is actually two systems in one. The first system (Diann's) is for those who have a pretty good handle on keeping their house clean but just need a system to teach their children to do so. Then there is a more involved system (Annette's) to teach the children and the mother to maintain a clean household. I think I'm somewhere in between but have opted to set up Annette's system to help me to create good habits.

Here are the objectives of Annette's work system (Diann's are included in these):

1. Get the work done that MUST be done and the work that SHOULD be done -- define both.
2. Allow for teaching children how to do the work.
3. Be comprehensive.
4. Be fair and include the element of choice.
5. Provide an easy way to supervise in a positive manner and help us stay motivated.
6. Allow for flexibility and is easy to operate.
7. Offer a long-term work solution.
8. Integrate Adult Skills classes.
9. Help me to organize the amount of work to be done in manageable amounts.
10. Help to establish habits of order and cleanliness.

Here is a picture of our "work system headquarters". You can click on the picture for more detail. I made the pockets. You could buy them, but if you like to sew these cost around $8 to make ($6 for the vinyl lettering). The clear vinyl I got at Wal-Mart in their remnants section and paid under $2. I had to sew it with tissue paper (wrapping kind) on each side to help feed the material through the machine. You could also choose a different material or material and the vinyl...the possibilities are endless! It took me a day to make them. (By the way, Diann explains her version in her book A Thomas Jefferson Home Companion.)

At the home school convention I attended last year I asked Angela Baker advice about homeschooling and she said if she could go back to where I was at the time, she would just take the entire school year to teach her children how to work. I thought that seemed pretty drastic, but at the end of this year I realize I should have listened! When everyone in the family knows how to work and pitches in, there will be more time to inspire, discover and create! Today went very smoothly and I've decided THIS is our school until we all learn how to work!

Here are some other ideas on chores that might be helpful:

• My friend Becca has laminated charts for each child that has set chores each week. When the child has accomplished the job, he fills in a bubble by the chore completed. This system helps children get really good at a few jobs.
• My sister Angie told me about Handipoints. It is a fun, free program that allows children and parents to track chores on the computer or print out weekly chore charts. Each chore has a value attached that are accumulated and used for a "cool cat" they get to create and play with in HandiLand.
• My friend Emily rotates one job weekly allowing children to get familiar with a different job for smaller periods of time so they don't get bored. Because they know what their weekly job is, her kids just do it without having to be reminded. The children are still responsible for their everyday jobs like taking care of their person (teeth, hair, getting dressed) and their personal belongings like making their beds.

If you have any ideas that have worked for you, please share! Once you've found something that works for you--stick with it!! I think my stick-with-itability will be the key to my success. I'll keep you posted...

Kindness

I have been concerned as I observe how my children interact with each other and with their friends lately. So for our morning devotional yesterday we sang "Kindness Begins With Me" and then we read "Friendship Bracelets". It's a great story about a little girl who learns to be kind and love her friend even when her friend was being unkind to her. We discussed the article and then we made friendship bracelets from embrodiery floss. I just braided the floss for the little ones while they held it and I'm teaching the older ones how to make their own friendship bracelets. This link leads to a site that has pretty detailed instructions and I figured it out in about 15 minutes...but I like that kind of stuff : ) We talked about how the bracelet can serve as a reminder to be kind to everyone and to be the kind of friend you would like to have. Later in the day, I was able to gently refer to what the bracelet signified to help them make better choices and it was effective. The devotional helped to remind me about "You, Not Them" and how I need to remember that "Kindness Begins With Me"!

Second Chances

I don't know about you but I frequently mess up. For example, I've started a handful of household chore systems only to watch them fail one after the other. Partly I need to find something that works for my family and partly it's just me learning how to follow through.

When I keep failing at something and could easily get discouraged, I try to remember to be grateful for second chances. My mother-in-law gave me this card. Notice the girl's bandaged arms, hands, knees and legs...yet she's smiling and she's on her feet. On the card it says:

"Success consists of getting up once oftener than you fall down."

I love that! I love how each day is a brand new start and how even the seasons denote a rebirth. I love how especially this spring there has been an abundance of rain that washes away sidewalk chalk and dirt from construction making everything clean and green. I love that we have a Savior who sacrificed for us giving us a second chance. Everything points to a loving God that is trying to tell us that we can do it!

So if at first you don't succeed...try, try again! (I'll let you know when this new chore system works ; )

An Inspirational Independence Day

I am so glad Jen asked for ideas on how to teach the importance and meaning of Independence Day. With the weather so rainy and cloudy here it doesn't seem like the 4th of July is a little over two weeks away...but it is!

For Simple Abundance (our book group) we are reading John Adams by David McCullough this month (I've been told that Costco has it for $11). Following the "You, Not Them" principle, this is a great read to get inspired yourself! Once you are inspired, share what you've learned with your children...your excitement will be contagious!

I am right at the part where they are signing the Declaration of Independence and I am blown away by the daunting task it was to merely decide to break away from their mother country. Speaking of the 4th of July, John Adams wrote to Abigail, his wife:

It ought to be commemorated as the Day of Deliverance by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pop and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other from this time forward forever more.

Lest she judge him overly 'transported,' he said he was well aware of the 'toil and blood and treasure that it will cost us to maintain this declaration.' Still (McCullough continues), the end was more than worth all the means. (p. 130)

I'm sure we all agree! A great teaching tool for children about the founding of our country is called "Take Your Hat Off" by Brite Music (check it out by clicking the button below, go to the pull down menu titled "Brite Series" and click on "Take Your Hat Off").

It teaches children through music in a very simple way what it means to be a patriot and why they should show respect for their country.

My friend Tammie N. highly recommends American History Stories You Never Read in School but Should Have Vol.1 & American History Stories You Never Read in School but Should Have Vol.2 by Mara L. Pratt, MD. She said both she and her children are learning so many interesting stories about our country.

Then for the "pop and parade" part of your celebration I always love Family Fun Magazine. They have a great list of crafts, games, activities and recipes to make your 4th of July a great celebration.

I am excited to share these things with my children. Thanks Jen!

You, Not Them

One of the principles Dr. DeMille shares as an effective key to teaching in his book A Thomas Jefferson Education: Teaching a Generation of Leaders for the Twenty-first Century is called "You, Not Them". In a nutshell, if you want your child to excel or be interested in something, you try it out first. My good friend Amanda W. has told me that has been the driving force in her homeschooling. If a son likes to draw, she studies and practices drawing. If a daughter is interested in a foreign language, she starts to learn Spanish. It is amazing how by leading out like this, your children will follow.

I've been noticing that my son who loves to play the piano has gradually stopped practicing. Instead he tries to cram the day of the lesson and usually ends up frustrated and his love for the instrument has diminished. Instead of harping on him about practicing, I decided to try out the "You, Not Them" principle. I sat down at the piano and learned a song. I excitedly called him over one day and played it for him. "That's cool Mom," he said nonchalantly.

I still didn't see him practice but I kept plugging away learning new songs. Pretty soon without a word from me, he was practicing regularly again and not only that...he was enjoying it! Now we have "piano wars" we call it (...hey...he's a little boy ; ) and at the end of family council on Sundays we see who plays their song the best. I lost last Sunday, but he cheers me up by saying that he still loves me even though he'll beat me next week too...

And I think...it'll be Me, Not YOU! Isn't that how it goes? Oh, not really..You, Not Them ; ) Try it, it really works!!

Independence Day

My good friend Jen M. sent this question to me:

"I am looking for a way to teach my kids about the meaning and importance of Independence Day. Do you have any ideas and materials that might help me do this?"

I'm glad she's thinking ahead! Let me know your ideas by emailing me at inspireyourkids@gmail.com. Thanks!

Unconditional Parenting

I think I have been stunned into silence (hence my lack of posting). I have slowly been reading (along with 2 other books ; ) Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn and in short it has rocked my parental world. Previously I have been all about positive reinforcement in the form of praise and rewards. I have been known to bribe and threaten when desperate but I tried to stay on the positive side when interacting with my children. Kohn basically says that method of parenting is "conditional" and teaches my children that I only love them when they do what I want them to do.

He asks hard questions like "Are my everyday practices likely to help my children grow into the kind of people I'd like them to be?" I would like my children to be confident, self-starters who are motivated intrinsically to help and be kind to others. So are my everyday practices in line with this vision? Or will I wake up one day to this description quoted in Kohn's book by author Barabara Coloroso? She often hears parents of teenagers complain, "He was such a good kid, so well behaved, so well mannered, so well dressed. Now look at him!" To this, she replies:

"From the time he was young, he dressed the way you told him, to dress; he acted the way you told him to act; he said the things you told him to say. He's been listening to somebody else tell him what to do...He hasn't changed. He is still listening to somebody else tell him what to do. The problem is, it isn't you anymore; it's his peers." (p.7)

Yuck!! If you are not convinced praising a child can cause them to feel conditionally loved I invite you to read this book. It is an eye-opener! Unfortunately I am still in the chapters where he tells me all that I'm doing wrong and I haven't gotten to Chapter 7: "Principles of Unconditional Parenting" where he will tell me what to do.

I do know he suggests helping the child identify how he or another person may feel as a result of his actions. For example, this morning instead of praising my children for the great job they did cleaning their rooms, I asked them how they felt to have a clean room. We talked about how nice it smelled, how clean it felt and how enjoyable it will be to read and sleep in there.

I know some of you have read this book so I'd love to hear your story. Feel free to comment! I'll let you know when I reach the good stuff!!

This Week's Inspiring Devotionals

I had one of those ah-has when I taught a Sunday school class for kids at church last Sunday. I always put so much time and preparation into any lessons I give at church because I feel a personal duty to God to inspire and love His children.

As I was thinking about how to make my morning devotionals with my own children more powerful and meaningful, I realized I should approach it like I do my church responsibilities. I should give it thought and preparation.

This week we have had beautiful, spiritual morning devotionals and it hasn't even taken any extra time really. As I study my scriptures personally I begin with a prayer in my heart and a question as simple as "What do my children need to know today?" Or "How can I help my children see the importance of forgiveness or kindness?" Each day I have come across a wonderful scripture or story that illustrates the principle they need to know.

How powerful to know that each morning I can prepare my children with the armour of God to be His valiant children!

Morning Devotionals

This time I need your help! What do you do to make your morning devotionals inspiring? I envision starting the day with a powerful devotional that teaches core phase values (right vs. wrong, true vs. false) and inspires learning.
Please email me with your ideas at

inspireyourkids@gmail.com.

Thanks!

Inspire Learning

Let's tackle Janet's question about how to inspire learning. She has recently taken her children out of public school and sounds like everyone (including her) is burned out. In school there is so much "teaching to the test" and meeting government standards etc. that often children's love of learning is squelched.

I was in a similar situation last year at this time. I highly recommend reading materials about a Thomas Jefferson Education. Through my reading, I discovered that summer is the perfect "detox" time. It's a time to heal family relationships and rekindle our love of learning.

My veteran TJEd friend Amanda W. suggests to do nothing! There was a time when I would have shuddered at the suggestion. I used to be scared of the dreaded complaint "Mom, I'm bored!" But Amanda is right! I have since discovered that being bored creates the necessary vacuum needed for children to discover and explore. My children have come up with wonderful activities and games when left to themselves. Now when I hear "Mom, I'm bored!", my response is always the same. "That's great! I love when you're bored!! You come up with the best things to do when you're bored." And they have!

Amanda also shared with me that much of what inspires her children simply comes from following her instincts as their mother. I would love to share more about that on a later post. Stay tuned!

We also read great books together. See What We've Learned From the Classics for some ideas (more to come!). Discussions and activities natuarally flow from sharing a great book together.

Camping is another great detoxing activity. It's a great time to work together as a family and heal relationships by being present in nature. On Memorial Day weekend we (by "we" I really mean my husband and kids ; ) camped in our backyard...just for fun!

Any family work projects like caring for a garden and yard where we all work together has a healing effect as well.

The key is being together and spending quality time with your children. More and more my husband and I are realizing that our children are only with us a short time. Make use of every moment.

These are only some ideas of how to rekindle our (yes, ours too : ) love of learning and is by no means comprehensive. Please share any ideas you have done to inspire learning.

All in Favor...Part II

I posted what family council is and the benefits of holding one about a month ago. For about two months now we've been holding one every Sunday and I am amazed!

My children look forward to our meeting where we spend time talking together. Everyone has a voice, even the little ones, and it has been enlightening for us as parents to hear how our children feel and think about certain topics. We have resolved issues that previously seemed insurmountable. The resolutions stick since the kids are the ones making them and everyone agrees on them.

I keep a small binder on the kitchen counter that holds our past family council agendas with the topics we've discussed and the decisions we've made. If there is ever a question, I can flip to where a decision was made and everyone is satisfied.

On the first page there is a place where the children can list any concerns they may have. This allows involved parties to cool off a bit and usually by the time we discuss it, the offended child has often lost interest. As a mom, I don't get as frustrated with problems in the home since I know I can bring up topics for discussion in family council (a.k.a. an environment where everyone is listening and ready to participate!).

My son even came up with a great idea all on his own and presented it to the family council. By great I mean an adult-like, self-governing sort of idea that makes me want to jump for joy!

All in favor?

Aye, Aye, Aye!!

Teaching Kids with Music

Brite Music is having a buy one get 50% off one sale that ends this Friday. In case you are not familiar with Brite, it is a company that teaches children through music. On their website it says:

Every Brite Music product follows a simple formula for success:

1. Music increases a child’s ability to learn and retain information.
2. Kids love to have fun and Brite Music products are fun!
3. Brite Music products teach valuable lessons and principles.

I have really enjoyed the Standin' Tall series by Brite Music that has taught my children about values like courage, love, forgiveness, kindness, happiness, gratitude, work and obedience. Probably my absolute favorite CD is the one on pornography called "Protect Your Mind". On the CD, a group of kids are in a club called the Safety Kids and they explain in a very simple, understandable and entertaining way what pornography is and why kids should stay far away from it. Check it out by clicking on the button below.